The Social Obstacle

One of the hardest things in life is to continue in a relationship while discontinuing habits that the relationship shared. Our habits not only define our own character but many of our relationships - coffee buddies falling away when the coffee does. The substances we take are frequently even closer to our hearts than many people are because their comforts and pleasures can exceed those of human company. This is because each substance has its own essence, its own spirit, with which we so intimately commune. When we take in these spirits they share our bodies with us for a while - they get to feel us, and we get to feel them.

When one 'goes raw' they will find the whole social situation will shift. People love their little treat. It can only really be compared to sex, and because sex is so overused as a type of entertainment rather than as a deep fundamental experience of magnetic electricity and love it regularly doesn't give as much pleasure as eating does. Eating with people is also very intimate and is the expression of a bond. To stop sharing specific pleasures with someone is like breaking up a happy threesome.

It is the test of a relationship to survive a change of habits. The separation goes into overdrive if the move of is toward health and sobriety because the one who remains with the substance feels judged in the presence of the one who has broken away. The obvious example is with alcohol, it is unusual for one to drink in the company of another who isn't. Even two people drinking alcohol can feel adversely observed by a sober spectator. A marijuana smoker will only smoke alone or in the company of a fellow smoker, someone who 'understands', who is in agreement.

I myself attend very few - if any - social events because of the uncomfortable scrutiny of what I eat and the backlash of people who feel judged because I have said Hokaai to the culture and lifestyle into which I was born. In the case of my family I have cooked meat dishes for them to relieve them of any ideas they may have that I wish they were different or I want them to change. I don't force my ways on them specifically because I abhor anyone trying to change me. I have never felt so comfortable as I did on the few occasions that they ate what I prepared for them, as they like it, while I sat with my plate of chopped fresh Tomato. 

The reader can appreciate then how difficult it is for me when a family member who I love as much as any human being or probably more intentionally tries to derail me with temptations because they don't approve of my choices. They resuscitate old habits we shared - a Kitkat in the car on the way home, little 'treats' we once had fun enjoying together. Amenability is possibly my worst weakness, being a people pleaser something I pray on my knees with face to the ground that I can be free of. Trying to bring respect and understanding for my ways is an ongoing struggle with someone who privately holds my ideals in contempt and who loves the communion of sharing treats.

Sharing treats is often one big distraction, coffee buddies do fall away when the coffee habit goes. But it is possible to push past the 'main attraction' and make each other just as viable company, the real thing.

Many a raw foodist has come unstuck because of the loss of the society. If more of us were into raw food there wouldn't be a problem. This is what caused Essie so much agony, why she is not a Fruitarian today when she loved the path so very much. 

All we can keep working towards is a new world, where sanity reigns supreme. The single greatest difficulty in following the Holy path is in attempting to leave enculturated habits for sobriety and spirituality while remaining social. Having supportive company is like a balm for the soul, but in the end it is the strength of character to obey one's convictions and not go with the flow that is the only thing which will win the day and allow us to expand into the fullness of our own being. 

This is a very high calling. Our mission, should we choose to accept it.