Last night I dreamed I was in India with a friend. We were standing at a railway station about to leave and I was describing the beauty of Nepal, the mountain kingdom directly alongside. As I described it I could see the pristine white snow capped Himalaya - pure, lofty, and remote. I felt awe struck by the inaccessibility and mystery of the mountains and longed to be there .. but I hadn't a ticket. So near yet so far.
Why travel all the way to India and not go to Nepal? India is far to come and certainly has so much to offer but next to Nepal is chaotic and dirty. The Nepali aren't aggressive and their poverty looks more like simplicity, they plant flowers in tin cans and fly colourful flags inscribed with prayers for the wind to carry around the world. And instead of a searing, flat brown land the constant backdrop is a majestic white mountainscape, accessible only by strenuous mental and physical effort.
Coming as far as India and not entering Nepal feels a lot like eating 90% Oranges and 10% Avocado. Its almost but not quite there. And because of the leak in focus other fancies have slipped in - turnips or cabbage with tomato, for example. The abdomen is always busy, the waters muddied, mind chaotic. Avocado is not only my comfort but also an ingrained habit, and I experience immense difficulty in giving it up, even for a period.
As wonderful as Avocado or any other fruit may be, the benefits of a mono diet are worth the effort. The body rests, no longer a washing machine of activity, the mind rests, no longer subject to fermentations and 'fumes'. The personality learns to overcome its fears of having to forego the body's impulses. I met a girl on the path the other day who was fundraising to go to a netball match in New Zealand. I gave her my coins, afraid to give her my last note, afraid to not have enough money for food. Afraid of my own mortality. Why not push past that and see what lies beyond?
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| Not Oranges |
I must finish the Tomatoes and Cabbage that I bought, I can't waste them, and on Saturday is my sister's birthday and she must be treated to a deluxe fruit salad 'cake'. Thereafter I am heading to the airport and between her birthday and mine, about a month, I commit to the austerity, endurance and effort of not indulging in comfort but aspiring to the pure clear heights of discipline and simplicity.
I have always longed to go back to Nepal, to be surrounded by that lofty, grand landscape, high above the world, present amongst vibrant, simple people. Does last night's dream indicate that what I seek is a spiritual place that I can find within myself? Once again I feel called to meditation and silence.
